Start from Despise You. It’s Part 1 of this post.
Now that you know better why people may despise you, it is good to know how to minimize or curb people despising you. More importantly. are the ways of coping with despising. Below are some of the ways of coping with people despising you, or them putting you down.
“What other people say about you is none of your business”, is the iconic words of RuPaul. See. what other people think of me is not my business as much I crosscheck their thinking and find I’m free of their errors in speculations. What I do is what I do. How people see me doesn’t change what I decide to do. This should be your case.
When people want to put you down, take any or a combination of these strategic pills of
9 Ways of Coping with Despising.
- Don’t get mad, please!
Getting mad is probably the worst response you can meditate on. Not just because it can cause the truly unpleasant people to retaliate with more unpleasantries, but getting mad can hurt those who didn’t intend it that way. Then you unwittingly become the one who puts people down.
Not getting angry is already 50% victory, all that is left is to choose the next course of action.
- Empathize with them.
If you can properly understand what stirs them up, you can see how pitiful the whole drama is. You can even flip the switch by saying kind words to them and winning a friend back – a former despiser.
- Breathe in.
If you feel maddened by the remark, manner, and timing of the whole despising you, then allow for some more time to pass – time may soothe.
Let it all wash away. Take a deep breath [breathe in], and allow yourself to see the bigger picture and to see that their words have little to do with you.
- Acknowledge their opinion.
If they criticized you or your work harshly, be the bigger person by acknowledging their views.
Were they, actually right? Acknowledge it, learn from it, and discard the rudeness. If they were wrong, ignore their attempts to despise you. You can go the extra mile by asking them to explain what they mean by what they said. This is more mature for you.
This could give you deeper insight (if there was any), or allow you to call them out (if there was none).
- Laugh at their attempt to reduce you.
If you have an expert sense of humour, you can turn the tables by laughing at their attempt to put you down. You got it! You just have to be careful not to cross the line and poke the bear, causing more issues.
- Ignore them – See them as Non-existing.
It is not your responsibility to teach grownups manners. Did you get the lesson? You should. It is not your responsibility to teach grownups manners. So, make peace with that and move on.
- Politely disagree.
Speaking up for yourself is never out of style! You don’t have to get into a big thing about it when despised or put down. If someone says something insulting, or humiliating, you can simply say, “No, I disagree,” and change the subject matter.
You just need to be direct and honest. There is absolutely nothing wrong with simply saying, “I don’t think that’s fair, and it feels like an insult.” A lot of people who put others down don’t expect to be called out on it or call their attention to it. You don’t have to be rude. But you are 100% allowed to draw your boundaries and call it as you see it.
- Walk Away.
Alternatively, you can keep the conversation going if you want, or walk away afterward. You don’t have to be rude about it, but you also don’t have to accept or agree with them saying negative things to you to keep things nice. No, no, no!
- Strike a Conversation on Why They Despised You
Best case, it could start an open dialogue about why they said what they said and you can find common ground going forward. Worst case, they react poorly and tell you exactly who they are. Either way, you don’t have to feel like you should be silent.
Conclusion
Next time someone tries to despise, or deride you, remember this: “That confidence is quiet but insecurity is loud”. You should always have it at the back of your mind that what people say, and how they behave is only a mirror reflection of who they are and not who you are.
Mike Ihezuo
Mike Ihezuo is an Author, Writer, and Speaker on Leadership, Entrepreneurship, and Success Motivation. He is worth hearing. He can be reached on Ad Inquiry, https://mikeihezuospeaks.net, #LeadershipXcellence, @MikeOIhezuo and email: leadermikeo@gmail.com
